Time has passed. Things have changed, they have certainly changed.
When I started this blog some time ago I had the intention to run with it. Events and a life transition happened that made me put this by the wayside. Actually getting caught up in a different routine made me put this down. My state of mind was one of hatred and spite. There would be no writing articles for some time.
What had happened was something I decided to put behind me. What is now presented in front of my eyes has my attention. I can now say that I am back where it counts. I am home again. No longer an alien in the midst of strangers.
I grew up here. People remember who I am. The familiarity of this place is comforting. Everything presented to me is a reminder of the beginning I should have taken.
I was desperate to get out of a bad situation that I had the pleasure of dealing with for 21 years. I left to make an escape and start my life. What awaited me was only fleeing vanity that lead me to smoke and mirrors. I feel regret now for walking into that smokey room. I feel as if I could have skipped that whole experience and went elsewhere.
Nothing I can do will change the decision I made. I must live with the consequences. I made a bad decision out of curiosity and haste. Desperate to leave the broken down situation. I should have known better than to trust somebody else’s judgment.
The thought arises in me all the time: “I could drop everything I’m doing and go live out of my car for awhile.” Really, I could do exactly that with ease. I’d love to get out of this cycle I find myself in again.
There is so much to write about. I’m not sure where to pick up from.